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EP087: Authorwerx

Posted on 2007.01.05 at 16:49
Tags: ,
By Greg van Eekhout.
Read by Stephen Eley.

I launched into my next bit, which I’d rehearsed that morning on the tram. “What I liked about your stories is that you never knew where they were going. It’d start off as a World War II military adventure, but then it would wind up being about android worms from another dimension out to steal Earth’s dirt. It’s like other writers’ stories are bridges: There’s a beginning, there’s an end, and it’s a pretty straight shot through. It might be a long bridge, or curvy, maybe, so you can’t quite see the ending coming. But the trip basically makes sense. Your stories were different, though. You always blew up your bridges halfway across, and you’d have to swim for the banks, and you’d end up on some rock with weird lizards.”

On the verge of laughter, he looked at me. “You’re kidding, right?”

Rated R. Contains profanity and a disturbing resemblance to Philip K. Dick.


Listen to this week’s Escape Pod!

Referenced sites:
Eley’s writing progress
New forums (finally!)


By Robert Silverberg.

Read by J.C. Hutchins (of The 7th Son Trilogy).


Mike offered Nick some pot. “That’s really something,” he said. “To have gone to the end of the world. Hey, Ruby, maybe we’ll talk to the travel agent about it.”

Nick took a deep drag and passed the joint to Jane. He felt pleased with himself about the way he had told the story. They had all been very impressed. That swollen red sun, that scuttling crab. The trip had cost more than a month in Japan, but it had been a good investment. He and Jane were the first in the neighborhood who had gone. That was important.

Rated R. Contains drugs, swinging, and frequent gratuitous apocalypses.



Listen to this week’s Escape Pod!


Referenced sites:
Podiobooks.com
Starship Sofa (incl.: Robert Silverberg)


EP085: Merry Christmas from the Heartbreakers

Posted on 2006.12.23 at 20:59
Current Mood: optimistic
Tags: ,

By Mur Lafferty.

Read by Stephen and Anna Eley.

Musical guest: Twisted Sister.


“Look, I think I know where this is going,” Kris Kringle said, but Gingermuffin cut him off.

“Do you? The Heartbreakers have been making Tom Petty sound good for years, and no one gives a damn. Tom Petty gets all of the credit.”

Kris wondered if he was sober enough to have this discussion. “You’re not talking about Tom Petty.”

Gingermuffin slammed his hand down on the table. “Damn right I’m not!” Kris’s carefully stacked poker chips fell over in a clatter of
Christmas.


Rated R. Contains profanity, violence, and the puncturing of childhood myths. Merry Christmas!


Listen to this week’s Escape Pod!


Referenced sites:
Reading is Fundamental
Child’s Play
I Should Be Writing
Geek Fu Action Grip
Podsafe Music Network (Terms of Use)


EP084: Smooth Talking

Posted on 2006.12.23 at 20:59
Current Mood: nerdy
Tags: ,
By Tobias S. Buckell.


Read by Steve Anderson (SGA Creative and Great Tales Live).


Roger sighed, shifted his position on the stump, and then turned back away from Marcus.

“What I’m trying to do, Marcus, is talk that tree into moving.”

Marcus didn’t say anything. He stood behind someone he thought he once knew and tried to figure what to say next. Not a man normally tied for words, Marcus found himself in the very surreal position of being speechless.

Rated R. For profanity and somewhat wooden anatomical descriptions.


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Today’s Sponsor:


EP081: Margin of Error

Posted on 2006.12.23 at 20:47
Current Mood: accomplished
Tags: ,
By Nancy Kress.

Read by Christiana Ellis (of Nina Kimberly the Merciless and Pickle Tales)

She said, “What the project needs is for you to come back and work on the same small area you did originally. Looking for something–anything–you might have missed in the protein-coded instructions to successive generations of nanoassemblers.”

“No,” I said.

Rated PG. Contains minor profanity, explicit bodily functions, and people being very, very mean..


Listen to this week’s Escape Pod!

Referenced sites:
PodDisc.com
Podholes!


EP080: Union Dues - Cleanup in Aisle Five

Posted on 2006.11.16 at 11:09
Tags: ,
By Jeffrey R. DeRego.
Read by Rich Sigfrit (of Requiem of the Outcast and Amazing Pulp Adventures).

"Which one are you?"

The kid fans out a small stack of super hero trading cards, but it's not a Union deck. Figures. "Lemme see what you got there." I flip through and remember my old baseball card collection. I knew there was something special about me, when at nine-years-old, I accurately calculated the probable batting stats of each player, on every team, in the 1996 season after opening only one pack. The Union recruited me five years later after my dad beat a couple of Atlantic City casinos for ten million bucks. I was caught on security camera tape telling him when and how to bet at the roulette wheel.

"These don't look like you."

The card displays a blue-costumed man leaping between buildings. I hand it back to him. "Those guys aren't real, but I am." Wow. Did I just say that? Maybe I'll tell the kid that Santa and the Easter Bunny aren't real either. He's staring at me now, I can almost see his little brain struggling to make sense of my answer. I should tell him to buy Union Cards but, you know, he's five.

Rated R. Contains profanity, some violence involving children, and retail corporate exploitation.


Listen to this week's Escape Pod!


Union Dues Stories:
EP027: Iron Bars and the Glass Jaw
EP049: Off White Lies
EP062: The Baby and the Bathwater

EP Flash: Act of Devil

Posted on 2006.11.01 at 14:16
Current Mood: cold
Tags: ,
By Paul S. Jenkins. (of The Rev Up Review).
Read by Mur Lafferty (of Geek Fu Action Grip).

There was a group of them at college who were into Satanism. My mom, Betty Bloxham as she was then, was one of them. It all sounds a bit kinky, going into the woods at dead of night and dancing in the nude under the full moon.

Anyway, they were all high on drugs at the time, so I doubt they knew what they were doing.

Rated R. Contains sexual violence, Satanic summonings, and similar wholesome family bonding.


Download the Escape Pod Flash.

EP077: A Single Shadow

Posted on 2006.11.01 at 14:10
Current Mood: cold
Tags: ,
By Stephen Dedman.
Read by Benjamin Grundy (of Mysterious Universe).

"I suppose you think we turn into cats and foxes when your back is turned?"

I smiled. "Only some of you - you, for example. You're much too beautiful to be human, but you could be a cat, a flower, a tree - no, scratch that one, you're too short." I glanced at Hiroshi. "Maybe Shimako's the tree-spirit," I said, softly. Hiroshi ignored me, but Miyume covered her mouth and laughed.

"I assure you, I'm quite human," she said. "I don't doubt that Shimako is, too. And how many girls have you used that line on, before?"

Rated R. Contains explicit sexual content. And ghosts. Explicit sexual ghosts, really.


Listen to this week's Escape Pod!


Referenced sites:
Retrieval Detachment

EP076: The Dinner Game

Posted on 2006.10.20 at 09:04
Current Mood: complacent
Tags: ,
By Stephen Eley.
Read by Maia Whitaker (of Knitwitch's SciFi/Fantasy Zone)

"Do I know you?" she says.

"I remember you," he says, and she smiles. It's another game. He has been a spy fleeing his country. She has been an adulterous First Lady. They have been psychiatrist and schizophrenic; vampire and victim; two blind people speculating on the world they cannot see. They will make love as themselves when they leave the Rose for a room upstairs, and tomorrow he will finish his business and leave her city. But first they dine as other people.


Rated R. Contains sex, violence, sacrilege, and other epic necessities.


Listen to this week's Escape Pod!


Referenced sites:
Twenty Epics (Amazon link)
Twenty Epics (PDF download)
Silent Universe

EP075: Nano Comes to Clifford Falls

Posted on 2006.10.20 at 09:01
Current Mood: chipper
Tags: ,
By Nancy Kress.
Read by Martha Holloway (of the ADD Cast and Podiobooks Pro)

“I like the taste of home-grown tomatoes,” I tell him. “Ones at the Safeway taste like wallpaper.”

“But nano won’t make tomatoes that taste processed,” he says in that way that men like to correct women. “That machinery will make the best tomatoes this town ever tasted.”

“Well, I hope you’re right.” Then Will and Kimee spilled their fight out through the screen door into the back yard, and Jackie started whimpering on his blanket, and I didn’t have no time for any nanomachinery.

Rated R. Contains violence, brief sexual violence, and minor profanity.


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Today's Sponsor:


Referenced sites:
"The Coming Technological Singularity," by Vernor Vinge

EP074: Paradox & Greenblatt, Attorneys at Law

Posted on 2006.10.20 at 08:47
Current Mood: busy
Tags: ,
By Kevin J. Anderson.
Read by J.C. Hutchins (of the 7th Son podcast novels)

"The man talked a mile a minute in a thin, squeaky voice; even if he hadn’t been panicked, it probably would have sounded unpleasant. “All I did was try to stop him from buying her some deep-fried artichoke hearts. How could that be construed as attempted murder? They can’t pin anything on me, can they? Why would they think I was trying to kill anybody?”

“Maybe you’d better tell me, Mr. . . . uh?”

“Hendergast. Lionel Hendergast. And I read the terms of the contract very carefully before we went back in time. It didn’t say anything about deep-fried artichoke hearts.”

Rated R. Contains some profanity and explicit sexual imagery.


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Today's Sponsor:


Referenced sites:
The Rookie by Scott Sigler


[blog monkey has been on vacation, sorry for the delayed blog updates!]


EP072: Joe Steele

Posted on 2006.09.21 at 15:54
Current Mood: quixotic
Tags: ,
By Harry Turtledove.
(Inspired by the song "God & the FBI" by Janis Ian. Lyrics used with permission.)

Read by Stephen Eley.

Two men left. Franklin D. Roosevelt. D for Delano, mind. Governor of New York. Cousin to Teddy Roosevelt. Already ran for Vice President once. Didn't win. Cigarette holder. Jaunty angle. Wheelchair. Paralysis. Anguish. Courage. As near an aristocrat as America grows. Franklin D. Roosevelt. D for Delano.

And Joe Steele.

Joe Steele. Congressman from California. Not San Francisco. Not Nob Hill. Good Lord, no. Fresno. Farm country. That great valley, squeezed by mountains east and west. Not a big fellow, Joe Steele. Stands real straight, so you don't notice too much. Mustache, a good-sized one. Thick head of hair just starting to go gray. Eyelids like shutters. When they go down and then come up again, you can't see what was behind them.

Rated R. Contains profanity and strong political themes. Not happy politics, like we have today. 1930s politics.


Listen to this week's Escape Pod!


Referenced sites:
Wikipedia: Alternate history
AlternateHistory.com
"If Lee Had Not Won the Civil War," by Winston Churchill
Today in Alternate History (by Robbie Taylor)
Bring the Jubilee, by Ward Moore
Turtledove Wiki


EP071: The Capo of Darkness

Posted on 2006.09.14 at 11:45
Tags: ,
By Laura Resnick.
Read by Evo Terra (of The Dragon Page) and Sheila Unwin (of The Dragon Page With Class).

Eve looked startled. “You used to be in Heaven? And now you’re working for the Lord of Flies?”

“He don’t go by that title no more. He didn’t like the novel, thought it showed him in a bad light. And don’t call him ‘Beelzebub,’ neither,” I advised, figuring it wouldn’t hurt to give these underdressed kids a little help. “He’s gotten real sensitive about it. He thinks it makes him sound like a character in an English comedy.”

Rated R. Contains religious satire, gangster satire, and profanity. Not for those who take their hellfire too seriously.


Listen to this week's Escape Pod!


Referenced sites:
Destructomundo

EP069: Her

Posted on 2006.09.14 at 11:43
Tags: ,
By Tobias S. Buckell.
Read by Stephen Eley.

"It's fascinating," Jo said, now that she had what she wanted out of me, "that the inhabitants here are the only race we know of that has their mythology dead on."

"Huh?" I looked down at the table. I needed more beer.

"They believe they live on the corpse of a giant."

"Maybe it's because they do," I said, sneaking another look back down the inner thigh that dominated the western hemisphere.

Rated R. Contains explicit anatomical imagery. On a very large scale.


Listen to this week's Escape Pod!


Referenced sites:
Podrunner Podcast
Daily Dragon Podcast
Dragon*Con: Atlanta, GA, September 1-4

EP068: Depth of Field

Posted on 2006.08.27 at 10:12
Current Mood: busy
Tags: ,
By Stephen Dedman.
Read by Jonathon Sullivan.

One of the governor's advisers had recommended appointing a committee of science fiction writers to investigate the saucer sightings as a way of diverting the public, and the governor had agreed. However, as none of the selection committee were SF readers, Project Birdwatch was dominated by screenwriters, writer-directors, writer-director-producers, and the occasional typecast actor. Few of them were brilliant, but they knew one side of a television camera from the other, and at least none of them had been blacklisted. The novelists and short story writers who had joined Birdwatch had soon given up in disgust. Ed had signed up for the same reasons as most of the others; the possibility of publicity, and the badly-needed fifty dollars a month. Besides, seven pretty blonde women had been abducted, and someone was responsible!

Rated R. Contains profanity, brief scenes of graphic violence, and questionable filmmaking.


Listen to this week's Escape Pod!


Referenced sites:
Worldcon 2006: Anaheim, CA, August 23-27
Dragon*Con: Atlanta, GA, September 1-4

EP067: Life in Stone

Posted on 2006.08.20 at 20:04
Current Mood: calm
Tags: ,
By Tim Pratt.
Read by Stephen Eley.

After ascending 72 flights of iron stairs, creeping past tentacled sentinels lurking in pools filled with black water, and silently dispatching wizened old warriors armed with glaives and morningstars that proved a close match for his pistols and poisoned glass knives, Mr. Zealand at last stumbled into the uppermost room of Archibald Grace's invisible tower. All Zealand's earlier murders were mere journeyman work compared to this final assassination, the murder of a man who'd lived for untold centuries, who'd come to America and enslaved Buffalo spirits, who'd built this tower of ice and iron on the far side of the Rockies as a sanctuary and stronghold for his own precious life.

Rated R. Contains strong violent imagery, some sexual content, and themes of immor(t)ality.


Listen to this week’s Escape Pod!


Referenced sites:
Invasion: The Complete Series on DVD
Obsidian River
Spaceship Radio
Decoder Ring Theatre - Main Site
Decoder Ring Theatre - Podcast Site
Sonic Society - Main Site
Sonic Society - Podcast Site
Amazing Pulp Adventures
Pseudopod - The Sound of Horror
Worldcon 2006: Anaheim, CA, August 23-27
Dragon*Con: Atlanta, GA, September 1-4

EP063: Observations From the City of Angels

Posted on 2006.07.27 at 10:07
Current Mood: cheerful
Tags: ,
By William Shunn.
Read by Stephen Eley.

"It's not just that, Brian. Think about this technology.
The experiment's been successful beyond anyone's expectations.
Spyware fittings for registered offenders will no doubt go into
effect next year. But why stop there? Can you imagine having a
therapist, a financial counselor, a social secretary, a
nutritionist and personal trainer at your beck and call twenty-
four hours a day? You'd like to get rid of that spare tire,
right? We could help you. Really."


Hayes shivers, though the climate inside the car is
perfectly controlled. "Sure," he says. "And I could have the
whole world watching everything I do, for the rest of my life."


Rated R. Contains profanity and sexual themes.


Listen to this week's Escape Pod!


Referenced sites:
Guild Wars
The ShunnCast
EP BitTorrent Archive

EP062: Union Dues: The Baby and the Bathwater

Posted on 2006.07.13 at 10:27
Current Mood: busy
Tags: ,
By Jeffrey R. DeRego
Read by Mur Lafferty (of I Should Be Writing and Geek Fu Action Grip)

It’s never really dawned on me that the brochures manage to beautifully portray events and activities I’ve never seen as long as I’ve worn the tights and mask. The brochures don’t show the InterCity cops taking pot-shots at our Jump Jets, they don’t show the protestors outside a school when Landaar makes and appearance, or the new recruits worked to the physical breaking point for a year before they are even allowed third string uniform status, they don’t show how we didn’t put out the fire or didn’t rescue the family.

But since when has a marketing campaign ever focused on truth and reality?

Rated R. Contains profanity and... Well, profanity.


Listen to this week's Escape Pod!


Referenced sites:
Union Dues - Iron Bars and the Glass Jaw
Union Dues - Off White Lies
Pseudopod Submission Guidelines

EP061: I Look Forward To Remembering You

Posted on 2006.07.06 at 15:27
Current Mood: busy
Tags: ,
By Mur Lafferty.
Read by Daisy Ottmann, Anna Eley, and Stephen Eley.

She smiled at last and gave a satisfied little sigh. He was just as she'd ordered. Without raising her eyes to his face, she asked, "So when do we begin?"

"We just have some paperwork to go over," he said. He bent over to pick up his bathrobe and Susan stared as his muscles flexed. Kevin slipped the robe on with the slow grace of someone who was unashamed of his nakedness. "Once we take care of that, I'll go back to headquarters and take my trip back to 1992, find your younger self, and seduce her."

Rated R. Contains profanity, sexual content, and nonlinear temporal prostitution.


Listen to this week's Escape Pod!


Referenced sites:
David Drake: Obituary of Jim Baen
John Ringo: Letter to Jim Baen
Baen Free Library
Baen Webscriptions
The World Turned Upside Down
Not Done Living

EP058: Shadowboxer

Posted on 2006.06.18 at 14:21
Current Mood: calm
Tags: ,
By Paul Di Filippo.
Read by Scott Fletcher (of Podcheck Review).
Musical guest: Andy Guthrie.

Generally speaking, I need only three minutes of concentrated attention to kill someone by staring at them. If I'm feeling under the weather, or my mind is preoccupied with other matters-you know how your mind can obsess about trivial things sometimes-it might take five minutes for my power to have its effect. On the other hand, if I focus intensely on my victim I can get the job done in as little as ninety seconds.

...Now the nation is at war. Or so we're told. I guess that changes everything. A person like me becomes much more important.

Rated R. Contains violence, some sexual content, and disturbing themes.


Listen to this week's Escape Pod!


Referenced sites:
Podsafe Music Network

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